Putting a Face to a Name...

I know it's hard to trust the internet sometimes. There are so many scammers out there it makes it very difficult to know who is real and who isn't and who is trying to help you and not hurt you. Through the past year or so, I have been working very hard to establish a relationship with you all. In my efforts, I have helped some people and pissed a few off :) I like to believe I help more than I offend though...

You have seen my picture posted at Love Sources as well as here at my blog and I have shared many of my stories, all of which I hope have helped you in some way, shape or form. If they haven't helped, I at least hope you get a kick out of reading them! I get very personal at times and I consider all of you my friends. So, it's time for me to help you put a face (and a voice) to my name...

I hope you can join me this evening on Real Coaching Radio TV Network! Coach Steve Toth will be interviewing me and everything I do here at Love Sources. I will be on the show live at 9 p.m. Eastern time. I hope to let you all get to know me a little better. Even if you can't catch the live show, I am sure it will be available for later viewing. Hope you can make it!

You’re Woman Needs to Hear How Much She Means to You…

If there’s one thing women and men have in common, it’s the want and need to hear how much we mean to each other. Women want to hear how beautiful they are, how much we are appreciated, and that our men feel lucky to have us. Men want to know that we feel protected and safe and that they are doing a good job of pleasing us and taking care of their families.

Women have a tendency to express these feelings better than our male counterparts. We have no qualms about expressing our feelings and making them known. Men, on the other hand, very rarely have the ability to show their weaknesses.

Take Corey for instance. He can be a very un-emotional person. He hates to show any weakness and he very rarely, if ever, can be gushy and romantic. He prefers humor over being the idealistic romanticizer who grabs his woman in a fit of passion and whispers in her ear everything she wants to hear while she melts in his seductive manliness. This is one of the things I love most about him being the avid comedic fan I am. However, I still need to hear, sincerely, that I am one of the most important things in his life…

Corey is not a drinker. I turned him onto wine a while back, but he doesn't indulge as I do. This morning I awoke to a very happy Corey who had downed nearly a whole bottle by himself (he works third shift mind you)! He’s quite a funny guy and an even more humorous drunk :)

But the alcohol helped him open up a bit more to me. For this I am thankful. He told me how beautiful I am. He told me what a lucky man he is. He told me things I had not heard in quite a while, not without him trying to crack a joke anyway. Thank you Gnarly Head Cabernet…

Seriously though, we all need to hear how much we are needed and we should tell each other how much we love each other often. While it shouldn’t require a few glasses of wine to do this, if it helps you to express those feelings you may otherwise keep bottled up, drink up my friends!

Tell your woman how you really feel once in a while (even if it takes a glass of wine or two). Trust me, you’re not going to turn into Fabio, but you will keep her happy and feeling loved, sometimes at the very time it is needed.

Relationships Suck Sometimes...

That's right, sometimes being in a relationship truly sucks ass. Some days I really miss when it was just my son and I. I could choose to cook dinner if I wanted or I could make something quick for him and have a bowl of cereal. I didn't have to worry about pleasing any one else. Didn't have to worry about planning things around anyone else or putting things off that I wanted to do. I didn't have any one to answer to; didn't worry about pissing someone off; and I certainly didn't cry because someone hurt my feelings (I'm sensitive like that). I just did me.

Yep, sometimes I really miss that.

But, I understand that no relationship is perfect. While I believe I have a good relationship with Corey, we still have our moments and our bad days. Today happened to be one of them.

Corey has a great sense of humor, but sometimes it can be really bad and inappropriate. I, being the person I am, will surely let him know when he's being a douche bag. Hey, how is one supposed to know that something is unacceptable if no one tells them so?

Of course, he doesn't like this so much. So he goes off in his little child-like rant and refuses to speak to me for a while. Well, guess what? I didn't do anything wrong here. So, our first night off together and I sit at my laptop and he is doing his thing. So much for a nice evening... that sucks.

But ya know what? I'm o.k. with that. You wanna act like a dick? Have at it buddy. When you're ready to act like the man I know you are, come talk to me. He just won't get what he wants later. Hey, all is fair in love and war...

My relationship is far from perfect. Sometimes, relationships just suck! But, we work on them, every day... Why? Because, hopefully, the good times far out weight the bad.

Some of us, unfortunately have more work than others. And I am the relationship expert? You're damn right I am. I know how to make it work, it's showing others (Corey included) that can be so damn hard!

Remember, it takes two people to make it work. No one person can do it alone. The hard part is getting both parties on the same page. Communication and compromise is key.

So I had a bad day and Corey was a douche bag... We've been on a long journey together so far and we have a long way to go. If you have an open mind and can leave your ego at the door, relationships can work... but they will still suck at times!

After all, it can't always be roses and butterflies... ;)

Gay Couples in Washington Have Reason to Celebrate!

I was ecstatic to see that yet another state has passed legislation to legalize gay marriage. Washington is now among the 7 states to give gay couples in the U.S. the same rights as heterosexuals.

It’s funny, (well actually it’s not) but a friend of mine on FB posted the news and was sure to express his extreme disgust. He is a very "religious" man. Surprisingly so; but it’s amazing how much a person can change in 15 years or more. Needless to say, we had quite a debate about the subject. Thankfully, I had other’s chime in to support my argument.

What surprised me even more is that these so called “men of God” are completely against gay marriage, not because they have an effective legal argument to back up their statements (which, with my background you will not win… seriously), but because “the bible says so”. For some reason they truly believe that gay couples are some abomination and have no right to enter into such a “religious” institution.

Last I checked marriage was a legal institution. Marriage, legal separation and divorce have never been nor will they ever be, run by the church. The state courts dictate all of this. Ya know, that nifty little thing called separation of church and state? (but these folks have never heard of that let alone understand it). I guess it really makes me wonder how they think this affects them at all?

What boggles my mind even more is that these “men of God” (sarcasm) act as if two people of the same sex cannot have a loving and healthy relationship. They want to blame all of the sick twisted freaks out there on, wait for it… homosexuality, the Feminist movement, Hollywood, and a score of other things.

WTF? As if gay men and women (or people who support them), hold no morals, have no respect for themselves, and have no right to hold the esteemed title of a “husband” or a “wife” and they will teach their children to hate yours. And heaven forbid when the time comes we all have to answer to “their God”!

Gay men and women, we are all going to hell so be sure to save me a seat! If, as they say, we are the one's who have to answer to "God" individually, I ask again, why the fuck do you care so much?????

So, after having this huge debate last night, as exhausting as it was, it reminded me of the United States Supreme Court landmark case, Loving v. Virginia, way back in 1967. See, it used to be illegal for whites and blacks to marry until a mixed race couple fought for their rights. The law was found unconstitutional of course. Now HBO is releasing a movie documenting this powerful story. (One I must see!)

A lot of people would say that gay rights cannot be compared to what blacks have fought so hard for. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s about civil rights, human rights, it’s about everyone’s right to love who they want to love and be able to solidify that love in a legal contract and protect their families.

Back in 1967 I am sure many people thought the same things about Mildred and Richard Loving as they do now about gay couples. It is different to an extent, but it doesn’t change the fact that we are witnessing the next great civil rights movement. 

I just wish more people didn’t spew such hatred. I wish people weren’t so ignorant. And damn it, I really wish people would keep “God” out of it! Trust me when I say, if you feel you are any better than anyone, teach your children intolerance and hate, or think someone is going to hell for simply loving another person of the same sex (or support those who do), you are most certainly NOT a “man of God”.

One day, this issue may reach the highest court in our land. If it does, I am sure the court will determine that marriage is defined as simply “two people” who love each other.

The Worst Relationship Advice EVER!

I love to read about what other people think about keeping a relationship long lived. So when I came across this article onYahoo, I thought to myself, “This has got to be the worst relationship advice ever! 

Now, I haven’t read the book, The Secret Lives of Wives, but I really don’t want to either. Author, Iris Krasnow apparently interviewed over 200 women who have been married for at least over 15 years to find out exactly how they do it… (200 women is a SMALL minority)

Some women suggest taking a summer vacation away from your husband. One woman went to Italy for an entire summer by herself. Hmm, I wonder if there was a local who wooed her as well? Don’t get me wrong, I have told Corey countless times to go off on a photography adventure alone. However, I would never suggest an entire summer! A long weekend sure, but if he goes anywhere for a summer I will be there to join.

Time apart is essential to any lasting relationship. When you find yourself needing a break for months on end, well, I would begin to question how stable the marriage or relationship actually is.

Others suggest having another man in your life. What? Yep, that’s right. Some women have platonic friends they meet with on a regular basis to make them feel beautiful and revived. That being said, I don’t think many men would approve. Some women simply have lunch dates with old flames while others actually have a full on affair. Well sister, you may have been married 20 years or so, but if you have to resort to any of the above, I beg to argue your happiness in that marriage.

Hell, if your feeling inadequate or not “feeling the love”, go out for a night with the girls. Sure, flirt your ass off with every stray that comes in the bar and let them buy you drinks, but don’t do something that could destroy every pleasant thought (or any ounce of trust) your man ever had about you!

One last piece of advice that I can agree on… every woman should own a vibrator! Yes! At least they got something right.

I guess my whole point is, just because someone has “successfully” stayed married for all those years doesn’t make it a healthy or happy marriage. And just because their antics worked for them, doesn’t mean it will work in most situations. Do what’s right in your heart. And remember, a long marriage doesn’t automatically make it a meaningful and happy marriage. After all, the title of the book is "The Secret Lives of Wives", need I say more?

Demi Moore Hospitalized After Dealing With Divorce?

Demi Moore obviously knows nothing about dealing with divorce. When I first heard the story about her and Ashton divorcing, I wasn’t really surprised. Actually, I think I was more surprised when she and Bruce split.

Never the less, I hate to say it, but we all knew Ashton Kutcher would turn out to be a doucher. Come on, he is how old? He was bound to have an extramarital affair. No offense Demi, you are absolutely gorgeous but really. Kutcher was way too young for you. I saw it, many people saw it. Ah well… hind sight is always 20/20 right?

What I don’t get is how a successful, extremely beautiful woman can have such a hard time dealing with divorce? To be honest, I never even knew Demi had a substance abuse problem. Either way, this is very disheartening for me.

Sure, when our heart is broken sometimes it’s necessary to grab a bottle and drink our hearts out till we cry out every last negative feeling. Cleanse ourselves of all the harmful energy that has overcome our souls and wake up to a new day.

But to send ourselves to the hospital over some tool bag who didn’t realize what he had? This I do not understand. Life is too short to loose our minds and destroy everything we have over an inadequate, un-loyal, fuck nut.

I have been there. I found out I was pregnant, married the bastard, only to realize he wasn’t the night in shinning armor he portrayed himself to be. I split… and when I did, I dove myself into school, work, taking care of my son, and anything else that kept my mind from believing that I wasn’t good enough.

Substances that take our mind to another place certainly play their role, but it can never take over our lives. We have too much to live for. We have children who depend on us. We are intelligent, beautiful, creative human beings who have so much to give to the right person who will appreciate it. And believe me when I say, the right person will come… one day…

NEVER allow another human being, or their actions, to define you… and never submit to defeat. Love does not defeat…

Love should overcome…

So you’re a scientist? No… really… what is it you do?

Earlier this month “scientists” questioned the existence of the infamous “G” spot. Apparently they have reviewed case reports, articles, and clinical trials and come to a conclusion that the G-spot does not exist. What in the hell?

Hmmm… let me be the first to be so bold as to say that NONE of these so-called scientists were women. You really can’t tell by the foreign names but I would venture to say my guesstimate is right on…

Second, what “clinical” trials did they review and conclude such a bold assertion from? Clinical trials usually mean there were real women who have subjected themselves to masturbation (or actual sex) while some freak watched over them. Not sure I would’ve signed up for that one! But who am I to judge?

My guess is that the women who did participate in these trials have probably never even had an orgasm let alone know what the hell their G spot is, or where to locate it for that matter!

Could this be one lonely mans plight (that has recruited other lonely fellows) in an attempt to brainwash women into believing that we do not know our own bodies? Does our anatomy really make you feel this threatened and insecure?

My guess is that someone, somewhere, is wasting useful dollars on a study that I could have given the answer to for free!

Yes my friends, the “G” spot really does exist. Even though sometimes a man cannot hit it just right, and even though some women are too intimidated to even search for it, many of us have no problem. Just because the rest of you have your “issues” of disbelief and refuse to really search for it does not make it not so.

Oh you silly scientists…

Oh you insecure and brainwashed women…

Oh the male ego…

Pfft...  amateurs.